Kenny is the most passionate employee this country will ever see. His innocent love for dolls fuels him to work hard, despite the bad influence of his apathetic co-workers. His purity can be compared to that of a child, which is why he gets along with them so well. Also, his body looks like peanut.

Hank is the morally (and literally) bankrupt manager. The only two things he cares about are his sex doll and scamming people, which is why he and Beddy Cocker are always on the lookout for the next exploitative money-making scheme. The guy may be super grimy, but his love for Beddy Cocker is as genuine as Kenny’s love for dolls, only less PG. Nobody knows how Hank got this job.

Jessica much like a neglected child, is a neglected teenager. She acts out at work in an attempt to stick it to her absent parents, who own the store and whose idea of a family outing is having the chauffeur drop her off at work. Her ultimate plan is to get fired and go to Cancun for reasons that change every time she’s asked.

SECONDARY CHARACTERS

The Collector is the store’s number one customer. He owns every limited edition in mint condition. As one may suspect, he still lives in his mother’s basement. Yes, his dolls are stand-ins for the friends he never had, and yes, he would fight a little girl to the death for one.

Mr. & Mrs. Ghali are the storeowners first and Jessica’s parents last. They’re never around because they own plenty of yachts and super-yachts, which is where they store their yachts. The Ghalis keep a huge secret from Jessica, that she has an identical twin who’s currently living it up in Cancun.

Beddy Cocker, the most popular, most common and therefore least special sex doll on the market. Since this particular model was recalled, Hank got her for free of charge, which to him is the most attractive quality a woman can have.

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